Egads. International Talk Like A Pirate Day falls on a Tuesday this year. September 19, 2017.
Cast off yer frippery and purchase a fecket for yerself and all the members of yer crew.
(Fecket is pirate-speak for a shirt made from jersey. Landlubbers would call this item a T-shirt.)
Gift yer wench with a fetching garment reading "Booty Call" and you can count on getting a jolly rogering!